Floss religiously

Help Wanted

Help wanted: Applicant must be a current or former Muslim Extremist with working knowledge and experience recruiting and training of suicide bombers.

Future dental practice seeks your expertise in motivation speaking and logic coaching in order to convince more patients to floss. Previous dental experience not necessary, although the ideal applicant will have most of his teeth and understand basic oral hygiene.

Why kill hundreds of people when you can kill millions evil, cavity causing anaerobic bacteria? You can use your talents to ease suffering, save teeth, extend lives, and eliminate the little bit of blood that swishes out after non-flossers brush their teeth. That's right, a (hopefully) successful future dental practice wants you to be a full-time dental hygienist.

Clearly, you are very talented at convincing people to the rightness and justness of your cause. If you can convince 20something year old men to blow their guts into oblivion with a promise of paradise with 40 virgins, then perhaps you could extend your talents to a new field by using your guile and talent to eradicate the evil Zionist gingivitis.

Full benefits are available to qualified applicants, however we cannot make matching contributions to 401k's involving dozens of virgins or paradise.

Please send resume and references to:

Floss Religiously
123 Oak St.
Noplaque, OH 01142