Floss religiously

Wedding Vows

Amber and I have been working on our wedding vows off and on for the past few days. To be honest, I've never really paid attention to wedding vows in the past. I suppose there are several reasons.

Usually, it's during the vows that bridesmaids ruin their makeup with reminiscent tears and picture-ruining sniffles. I've always found this fascinating, and it's certainly more interesting than listening to some folks jabber about love and some other boring stuff.

Vows are also the part of a wedding ceremony where I become intrigued by the decorations. My mind wanders. "Is that candle behind the crying bridesmaid crooked?" and "I wonder if there will be those wierd powered sugar coated wedding cookies at reception.." an on and on.

It's even more difficult to find entertainment when you are part of the wedding party. There's not really a lot of freedom to look around so options for entertainment become more limited. I've tried to count sweat droplets on the preacher's head once or twice. "26? Is he nervous, or is he just hot? I'm hot. Does talking really make you sweat that much? Surely holding a bible and talking isn't that much work, is it? Maybe the preacherman is out of shape." My mind continues to wander, "Is that bug over there going to make it into the pictures?" "What about the sweat droplets?" Outdoor weddings are even more interesting: "I hope those geese don't get any closer."

But as much as I ignore those vows in other weddings, I see vows as the most serious part of my upcoming event.

Now, I generally try not to promise very much. You know, make little goals that are easy to accomplish. Weddings, by their nature, work exactly the opposite to my usual ways. We promise a lot in the beginning and try hard not to dissapoint.

And these wedding vows involve big promises. You know, things about my whole life, and love, and sacrifice n' stuff. I don't really like sacrifice. Neither does she, for that matter.

We started writing our vows a few days ago, and decided to avoid traditional vows, but we also wanted to avoid surprises. For instance, what if she decided to make bigger and better promises than me? That could cause a problem... at least that's what she said.

So we worked on them together, and the negotiations began.

J:"So what do you think of this?"
A:"No way, I'm not doing the dishes every night"
"Yeah, I don't think dishes should be in wedding vows anyways."
"If I'm promising to never leave you, there had better be something about you never looking at another woman again"
"Who says I do?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Alright, then you're gonna have to cook."
"I'm not cooking every night."
"Of course not, we'll go out every now and then."
:angry stare:
"Ok, then I'll help with the cooking twice a week, and I'll throw in taking out the trash four out of five times."
"What does this have to do with never leaving me?"
"I dunno... why am I promising to lay down my life? That doesn't include laundry, does it?"
"Because, that's what you're supposed to do. And yes it does."
"So does that mean you're going to submit?"
"As long as you're doing what God says."
"Who gets to be the judge of that?"
"OK, I"ll submit"
"I get to be the boss"
"That's not what that's supposed to mean."

I guess "romance" isn't really my thing.