Floss religiously

Dirge of the left hand

Formerly titled: "Ode to the left hand"

I've been left-handed ever since I had two hands and preferred one over the other.

I wish I wasn't. It's been an annoyance ever since I can remember. Mom tried to make it less annoying growing up. One of my favorite memories was the "Left Handed Store" in Underground Atlanta. I don't remember going to the store or anything about it, but I do remember how cool it was to realize that everybody else didn't expect the metal spiral rings to grind into their hands.

In second grade, my teacher had some less than flattering comments about my left handedness. Maybe you could call them left handed compliments. Hearing things like, "that's ok and for a left handed person, it's a really good cursive "f." My handwriting has never been good, and I don't know whether to accept fault for being lazy, blame it on right-handed writing traditions, or to blame sorry teachers.

In first grade, my class had no left handed scissors. After wrestling with those crazy paper benders, I finally gave up on the advice of my teacher and made do with my right hand. Honestly, it was retarded at first, but I eventually learned to adapt and use right handed scissors.

Right handed desks have been the scourge of my educational existence from the very beginning. Some retarded, left-brained engineer mass produced the cheapest piece of right handed crap and placed it in what seemed like every single classroom in South Carolina. The small ones were the worst.

Being left handed isn't all that bad. Because I'm in a minority, I've been forced to learn the backwards way of doing lots of things. Your right-handed can openers aren't great, but I've learned to use them. There isn't a left-handed power tool in existence today, but I've sorta learned to use them too. Your keyboards, your mice, tv remotes, dinner place settings, traffic patterns, and manual transmissions have all been bearable. I took some time to learn to use them right handed and moved on.

Dental school has brought up entirely new challenges. Frequently, people try to show me things backwards. I don't mind so much when they take a moment to let me try to make sense out of what they're doing.

But now I'm angry. Absolutely livid.
Last friday I took a test that asked several right handed operator questions. I missed them all. My right handed professor never saw a single thing wrong with lecturing right handed, providing right handed information, and only asking right handed questions.

Ever since then, I've oscillated between livid anger and not-so-livid anger. I'm tired of being angry about this, tired of wasting time thinking about it, and tired of wondering if right will win. But I'm convinced I'm standing on solid ground on this one.

Over the weekend, I decided to walk into the dean's office and file a petition to have my disability formally recognized. Then later over the weekend, I decided to calm down and wait and see how things worked out.

Should I really have to claim a disability?