Floss religiously

Toys

****Note: all parties involved in this story may not recall the events I am describing as having occurred exactly as portrayed.

I am cheap. In fact, I am almost as cheap as I am impulsive.

Because of this little character flaw, I hate going to the grocery store. It's a constant battle. I think the grocery store is my toy store. I walk down the aisles and say, "I want that... and that.. this too. OH, and one of those... no, I'll take two."

But I am cheap. So I don't buy any of those things. And instead go for the grits and cheap-o store brand wheat squares and some 1% milk because it's cheaper than whole milk.

But on occasion, impulse wins out.

I was surfing craigslist when I saw my next impulse purchase: An audi tt with a manual transmission. Cool. I wanted it.

So I started to make deals--only I was the salesman.

"Sweetheart... if you'll let me buy this car, then I'll do the dishes all next week."
no dice.

"I like that shirt. You look really nice today."
not a chance.

"If you'll let me buy this car, I'll sell my motorcycle."
A glimmer of hope.

When my bride and I were dating, I made the mistake of saying that I loved my motorcycle.... months before I ever told Amber the same thing. She's had a little envy of that little machine ever since. She got a little curious enjoyment out of the motorcycle, but she mostly regarded its presence in the parking lot like she would an ex girlfriend who shows up every week for Monday Night Football.

As of now, I'm banned from craigslist. Amber says so.

But I also got my car. And I ditched the bike.

The battery was on the fritz when I bought the car. Leaving the lights on didn't help matters one bit. Amber showed up and gave me a jump.

I took the car home and got to work changing the battery.
I did some head scratching.
And gave a few confused looks.
Then did some more head scratching.
And I started taking off random bolts.
Then I dropped a few random bolts.
And I searched and searched for those silly bolts.
Three hours later, I had a new battery installed.
Three more hours later, I found all those silly bolts and put them back where they came from.

Maybe I should have begged for a Ford Focus after all.