I think I'll call her

Dear Paul,

I want to thank you for introducing me to Delilah. No, not the song. She's better than a song. You introduced us in Mom and Dad's front yard, and your Delilah and I have had the most wonderful time together. Oh how times have changed.

You should know better than to run off without your little friend. Surely you knew that sooner or later, she'd start going places without you. A little trip to the grocery store here. Another ride out to the ball game there. It's amazing how quickly those little times spent together can foster such a beautiful relationship.

You should know better than to try to wage a long distance relationship from a small South Pacific Island. And you should certainly know better than to find a temporary replacement for your one and only. I'm sure you've realized by now that temporary replacements don't work so well, and the two of you out there have endured a rocky relationship. I hear that your new little plaything gets a little stubborn sometimes, doesn't she?

I came across Delilah a few weeks ago, and I couldn't resist her. I drove her home to Charleston from our hometown, and she came back topless--all the way back to my place. Boy was that a sight to see. And as we drove along, wind in my hair passing mile after mile, I realized why her name was Delilah.

I call her Delilah because she always tempts me, and we always get off the highway in search of more exciting places for our fun, just like the biblical Delilah temped Samson off his proper path.

And, just like the Delilah who cut Samsons hair led him astray, Delilah tempted me, and our brief trip back to Charleston turned into a little escapade off the highway. I won't go into details, but let's just say that those shocks were rockin' somewhere off down a gravel road.

I know you miss her, but I couldn't resist this little tease. I'll try to take care of her until you come back to claim her as your own again.

P.S. Don't call my wife fat again, or I will not change the oil until 3,300 miles instead of the proper 3,000.


posted by Josh M on 9:42 PM


paulo said...

i love it! i don´t know if my bro has anything of mine to keep until i get back. i will have a new niece, though.

Paul Murphy said...

I just had possibly the worst two weeks of my life and now I get this. You can't name MY car.
If you and Amber do ANYTHING that resembles going down a gravel road I'll be hacked
Don't tempt me to quit my job and move back because I will...

Josh M said...

Go ahead. Quit. I'm sure Mom would love it if you quit and moved back. I'd be entrenched as the favorite son until Philip brings all of her grandchildren back.

And I never did take it off any roads, except at Mom and Dad's prop. But her name is still Delilah.